Life with Chronic Illness

Today was not a good day. I cried. A lot. At work, at home, in front of almost everyone I know. I am mad that I have this disease. I am so relieved to have an answer, but now I am starting to grieve for the first time in almost 5 years. All of this energy up until this point was going towards figuring out what was wrong, and now that we found it I am realizing how different my life might've been without it. I feel like I missed out on a lot the last few years, and there's nothing I can do to get those times back. I realize that there's nothing I can do to change my past - but I hope that I will be back to normal soon (I don't even remember what normal feels like!) and ready to move on.

So today I got my first high 24hr urine cortisol! All of my salivary tests were abnormally low, which my doctor is very interested in. I heard someone say "You have Cushing's" for the first time! Very exciting to know that I AM NOT CRAZY and all of this is real. The next step is going to be to do a few more 24 hour urine tests. Once those come back high again (fingers crossed) I will have a Petrosal Sinus Sampling, where they will insert a catheter from my leg up to my pituitary gland to determine that the Cushing's is being caused by the tumor there. If all goes well with that, I will have surgery! Hopefully by the end of the year this will be over and I will be cured.