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Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 21 - Looking in the Mirror

Just a few months ago, I would do everything in my power just to avoid mirrors.  I hated the way I looked so I figured if I didn't have to look at myself maybe I would stop thinking about it.  I even turned my full length mirror around to face the wall at my apartment, and instead used the small bathroom mirror that only reflected from my shoulders up.  

I recently saw Frank Warren of PostSecret speak.  I have always been drawn to his website each week to see if any of the postcards mirrored what I felt.  After buying a few books of his, I took pictures of postcards that I could've written, and this one inspired this post.


I don't think I ever wished to be blind, but I did dread the mirror every day.  At work, instead of looking in the bathroom mirrors, I would look at my blurred and somewhat dimmed reflection in the elevator, just to avoid the real picture of what I looked like.

Now, I am getting more comfortable, and even enjoying the way clothes fit now, but I am still terrified of losing this new, slimmer body.  I am afraid to eat too much, thinking I'll gain weight again.  I know that it won't happen overnight, but it is still terrifying to me.  I hope someday I will learn that no matter what weight or shape my body is, my friends and family don't care, and I can be comfortable and confident no matter what.  Until then, I'll just try to get used to the bathroom mirror.


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