Skip to main content

Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 25 - Life Isn't Fair




(For some reason, this photo has been REALLY popular with the Cushing's group...I bet you can guess why based on the plethora of blog posts about how much Cushing's sucks!)

Everyone has heard that life isn't fair.  I seem to get this lesson over and over and over again in my life. From being 285 pounds and the sickest I hope to ever be, to unsuccessful surgeries and getting into school and not being about to go, and of course being a medical mystery for the last few months.  I didn't ask for any of those things yet they were all put in my way for me to deal with them.  Yes, it has made me a stronger person.  Yes, maybe things happen for a reason.  That doesn't mean I smile through it every day.  

One of the other things that hit me like a ton of bricks was that I will never get to be a "normal" 26 year old.  I don't even know what normal is but I would guess it involves things like living somewhere that's not your mom's house, and having a job where you make enough money to pay bills and maybe have a little left over, and not taking and carrying around syringes and medications everywhere you go.  (True story - I cried a few weeks after my adrenalectomy when I realized I will always have to carry a bag with me because of medications.  We were apple picking and I couldn't deal.) That's not fair, but that's my life and I have gotten used to it since then.

Yes, I cry a lot and have very hard days but I think I have to give myself (and all the other Cushies out there) a little credit because we are STRONG.  I have had many days where I just want to sleep and never wake up to deal with another hard or disappointing thing, but I haven't given up yet.

















Comments

Popular posts from this blog

2 Years Since my Adrenalectomy...would I do it again?

On September 2nd, 2010, I spent the day in one of the many operating rooms at MGH.  I had spent the night before talking and texting to friends and family, after seeing Wicked and going back to the hotel across the street from the hospital.  I cried a lot, because of the scary and fairly dangerous surgery ahead, because of the hope that this disease would FINALLY be behind me, and because of the long recovery ahead.  I woke up early and walked across the street with my mom, and my dad met us there.

The wait that morning was incredibly long, my 2 other surgeries in the 9 months prior had been very early and a pretty short wait.  I cried some more (no one should be surprised by this), and finally headed into the prep room.  I met with my surgeon one last time, and kissed my parents one last time.  As I waited in the cold, dark, cement hallway outside the numerous operating suites, a surgical resident marked the incision sites.  I knew there would be many small incisions, but having the…

Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 4

I have often said, I wish I had cancer instead.  Most people would not understand this sentiment, why in the world would you wish for such a horrible disease?  
It is another common thread tying people with chronic illness together. If my disease was cancer, everyone would know what it was.  I wouldn't be questioned by my boss when I called in sick.  My friends and family would be more supportive.  My doctors wouldn't question my symptoms.
Maybe my life would be easier.
But, maybe this would not be true.  I am not looking to find out.  Chronic illness is lonely.  It seems, from the outside, that cancer is not.  Most people know someone with cancer.  Most people know what cancer involves.  Endless appointments, surgeries, maybe even chemotherapy or radiation.  Cancer is life threatening. Did you know that a lot of chronic illnesses involve all of the same things?  
With Cushing's, a lot of people have multiple surgeries.  I have had 3 directly related to Cushing's, and…

Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 29