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Clothing Sizes

For a long time when I had Cushing's, I was afraid to "go up a size" in anything, instead squeezing into clothes that were probably too small.  I refused to shop at plus size only stores, thinking it meant "giving in" in some way.  I wore stretchy yoga pants and hooded sweatshirts to hide the hump on my back and my bulging belly, but prove that my legs were still normal sized. Towards the end, I found that maternity clothes offered the best fit, and stocked up on jeans and tops that were comfortable to wear AND looked ok.  Sometimes, when shopping in a store instead of online, and was asked about my pregnancy, I lied because it was easier than explaining a brain tumor that cruelly, would take away any natural ability to GET pregnant in the first place.

Now, when I shop, I tend to make a big deal out of it in my head.  It's almost an accomplishment, that I lived through Cushing's and now can go back to buying normal sized clothes.  Recently, I was able to fit into, and buy size 8 jeans.  SINGLE DIGIT SIZES!  And a size medium coat, which I didn't try on before I ordered online, and doubted that it would fit, but IT FITS!

Most of the women I know complain about having to go to the next size up, or see their non existent arm fat become more apparent in some shirts, as I once did as I was gaining weight uncontrollably, but now, shopping has once again become fun, something I look forward to as a build my new wardrobe.  I am still self-conscious about my stomach, with it's loose skin and stretch marks and scars, but no longer feel the need to cover it with a huge sweatshirt.  It feels good to be able to walk into the Gap and buy a pair of jeans without worrying that they won't zip up!

Have you ever struggled with weight, from a disease or just in general?  How did that make you feel when shopping for new clothes?

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