Skip to main content

Dating with a Chronic Illness

I'm 27.  A lot of my friends are married, engaged, having kids, let alone dating.  Dating was done ages ago when people were in high school and college.  For the past 7 years, I have either been sick, been busy trying not to get sicker, or just plain old unattractive because of Cushing's.  

I'm 27 as of March 26, and I'm just now starting to think about dating.  I'm not really sure how to go about it, and I feel old to be doing this now, especially in the small town I live in where everyone knows your business.  I don't know a whole lot of people, and even if I did meet someone, when do you bring up that you have this crazy disease that will follow you around your whole life?  I don't want anyone to be looking at my scars or seeing the extra skin from all the weight I've gained and lost.  When do you bring up the fact that since you have this other genetic illness, you don't want biological children?  How do you even approach that subject?  The easiest answer is to date someone that already knows about all of this.  But that gives me exactly... no options.  

Because of all the messiness with Cushing's and everything that came along with it, I have been too busy to even think about dating, and have avoided it altogether until now.  Now that I look better, like myself again, more and more of my friends and family seem to bring it up. Am I looking?  Have I tried Match.com?  It would be nice to kind of get my feet wet, but I'm not looking to get married anytime soon.  (BTW - family and friends who have suggested these things - I appreciate it.  It's nice to feel like a normal person again that deserves to be asked these questions, even though I may feel like an awkward 13 year old when you do ask!)

Someday, this will seem like a silly thing to worry about, but over the past few weeks, it seems like a HUGE deal!  I guess it's a nice distraction from all the scary medical stuff!

If you have any suggestions, or if you've asked yourself these questions before, or others, please let me know!!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Talk About the Sh*t you Don't Want to Talk About

I haven't updated this blog in a very long time.  I actually deleted a ton of posts while I was applying for social security disability. I posted about Cushing's Awareness day earlier this week on facebook, so I guess I'm in a sharing mood. Anyway, for anyone who even reads this, I was watching a documentary on Netflix about a teenager with anorexia and mental illness who found meaning in her life through yoga. (It's called I Am Maris). It's kind of the reason for this post. To start - let's go back to June 2018. My grandmother died.  She lived a wonderful long life, but it was especially hard on me.  She was the reason I got out of bed every day, my best friend, and so much more. I actually don't remember how I got through most of the summer. In the span of two weeks at the end of August, my mom turned 60, we went on a family vacation to the vineyard, my best friend got married, and I wanted to kill myself.  Yeah, you read that right. The day after re

The Challenges of Getting a Diagnosis

I have been asked about this so many times, and talk about it a lot, whenever someone asks me about Cushing's.  So many people have the same experience - KNOWING you have Cushing's, and seeing 5, 10, 20, or more doctors over the course of many years before you officially have a diagnosis.  I would say this is one of the most common links I have with other "Cushies".  We all fought for a diagnosis, heard we were just fat and depressed, waited with hope after every test, until a day came when one test came back high, or a brain MRI showed a tumor in the pituitary gland. I think the reason I haven't written about it is because it's one of the hardest things to sit down and spend time on.  It's painful, and of course, I can't help but wonder what my life might be like today if I was diagnosed sooner.  Would I have needed an adrenalectomy?  Or for that matter, a second pituitary surgery? Would I have as many health issues after Cushing's?  It's ha

10 days at MGH

It's been 10 days, and I am still in the hospital.  I walk two or three (very short) laps around this floor and my heart rate is upwards of 130, my lips, fingers, and toes are increasingly blue-tinged.  My oxygen saturation levels are even lower now, after sitting here for over a week.  So what have we accomplished so far?  Let me tell you. I had the arterial blood gas sampling done on Sunday.  It took a couple more tries but success!  It was of course, painful but nothing that I couldn't handle, especially if it meant an answer and an easy fix.  My arterial blood looked very dark as she was drawing it out, not the bright red oxygenated blood you usually see from arteries.  The doctor commented on this, and said that it was very interesting. Unfortunately, I did not have an abnormal level of methemoglobin.  So that ruled out methemoglobinemia .  The plan was to have an echocardiogram on Monday.  After waiting most of the day, I got pushed to the next day's schedule