Skip to main content

Mood Swings

It's official - the Cushing's mood swings are definitely back.  I have cried for no reason, I've been mad at my family for no reason, and I just am having a hard time dealing with people.  The last time my emotions were this unpredictable was right after my second pituitary surgery, which seemed to make my Cushing's symptoms worse.  In just a few weeks after that surgery, I gained almost 20 lbs.  I haven't seen the rapid weight gain yet, but I have had flushed cheeks and a red spot under my chin, acne, darkening of scars and stretch marks, worsening insomnia, curlier hair, and of course, the mood swings.

I have one more 24 hr urine to do, I am going to try to do that on Sunday while I am still having all of these symptoms, and hopefully those results will show what I already know, that Cushing's is back once again.  I feel like after 3 surgeries, 2 that were not successful, and the 3rd which helped relieve all of my symptoms for almost 2 years, this is the hardest reoccurrence to deal with.  I'm not sure if it's because I still look like myself, just a few pounds heavier, or that I know that there is no easy answer to fix this, or because it's harder for people to understand since I've learned that most people have stopped listening.

I'm not sure to address this at work yet, to warn people, and explain why I might be extra sensitive, or if it would just bring added drama that I don't need.

What would you do?

Comments

  1. I'm so sorry! I'm just being diagnosed after seventeen years of symptoms. I'm Episodic so doctors failed me for half of my life. Will you get a BLA this time?

    ReplyDelete
  2. i have actually already had a BLA, so next step if i do have cortisol production would be an ablation of any rest tissue we find.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ugh... not again. I can imagine the frustration because its such a hard thing to diagnose (even if its again) :(

    For work, if it were me, I'd tell my boss that you're dealing with medical issues (s/he doesn't have to know the details if you aren't close) you can even tell him you're on some new meds that are doing some funky things with your body and hormones right now. While its not entirely the truth, sometimes thats easier to explain than the complications and ins and outs of a pituitary tumor. I'd also alert anyone that you're close with at work. Then if you're having a really hard day they can be prepared and cover for you or help you. I'd tell them on one of your good days that way they won't be completely caught off guard when you have a really bad day. And you can even tell them you don't want EVERYONE else to know.

    Its a lot of work trying to act 'normal' and keep it together when your body is so far from it. You need a few people to lean on when you can't do it on your own.

    I think that was hardest for me when I was so sick. I'm very independent and very quick to pick up the slack when others fall short etc. asking for help and learning to adapt to others doing things for me was a struggle. And also learning that not everyone understands what its like to be SICK. Cancer is about what most people think of when they think of being really really sick.... but in a lot of ways, cushings is worse/harder than cancer.

    Try not to bear the whole weight of the diagnosis and symptoms by yourself. It really helps just to let it out. Give yourself a break when you're having a crying day. You've had the strength to get through this before. You'll do it again. -- Praying for you.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

amazon audible

Popular posts from this blog

Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 9

The only potentially permanent treatment for Cushing's is surgery.  Whether you have a pituitary tumor, adrenal tumor, or ectopic source of ACTH, most often, you will eventually need surgery.

For me, the first step was a pituitary surgery to try to remove the tumor in my pituitary gland. They went through my nose to access the pituitary gland, which means you have no visible scars after.
I was very nervous heading into the surgery, but didn't have much time to dwell on it, as my surgery was scheduled about a week after my IPSS.  I talked to a lot of people before, about their experiences, and heard vastly different stories from each person.
The only thing I remember from before my surgery was being rolled down what looked like a basement hallway (all concrete), while passing maybe 30 operating rooms.  I saw patients in the hallways on stretchers waiting for surgery, I saw into the small windows in the doors to operating rooms, it was a very scary experience.  Obviously, not ev…

Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 4

I have often said, I wish I had cancer instead.  Most people would not understand this sentiment, why in the world would you wish for such a horrible disease?  
It is another common thread tying people with chronic illness together. If my disease was cancer, everyone would know what it was.  I wouldn't be questioned by my boss when I called in sick.  My friends and family would be more supportive.  My doctors wouldn't question my symptoms.
Maybe my life would be easier.
But, maybe this would not be true.  I am not looking to find out.  Chronic illness is lonely.  It seems, from the outside, that cancer is not.  Most people know someone with cancer.  Most people know what cancer involves.  Endless appointments, surgeries, maybe even chemotherapy or radiation.  Cancer is life threatening. Did you know that a lot of chronic illnesses involve all of the same things?  
With Cushing's, a lot of people have multiple surgeries.  I have had 3 directly related to Cushing's, and…

Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 12

Today's post is a little bit out of my comfort zone. We're going to talk about weight.
One of the most common symptoms of Cushing's is weight gain.  Some people only gain 30 pounds, some gain hundreds.  I always have a hard time quantifying the exact amount I gained because I was a teenager, or even a young child when I first had Cushing's symptoms.  My best guess is about 150 pounds, only because that is close to what I've lost after treatment.  
When you weigh almost 300 pounds, people treat you differently.  I know this, because I've also seen how people treat me now.  
I was obese, due to Cushing's, throughout college. In my opinion, this is one of the most difficult times to be heavy. My first year of college, I was often left out of plans.  My two roommates were very close, and I always felt like the third wheel.  One of them even left a letter she had written to a friend out for me to see.  It was one of the cruelest things I had ever read.  She was wis…