Skip to main content

Mood Swings

It's official - the Cushing's mood swings are definitely back.  I have cried for no reason, I've been mad at my family for no reason, and I just am having a hard time dealing with people.  The last time my emotions were this unpredictable was right after my second pituitary surgery, which seemed to make my Cushing's symptoms worse.  In just a few weeks after that surgery, I gained almost 20 lbs.  I haven't seen the rapid weight gain yet, but I have had flushed cheeks and a red spot under my chin, acne, darkening of scars and stretch marks, worsening insomnia, curlier hair, and of course, the mood swings.

I have one more 24 hr urine to do, I am going to try to do that on Sunday while I am still having all of these symptoms, and hopefully those results will show what I already know, that Cushing's is back once again.  I feel like after 3 surgeries, 2 that were not successful, and the 3rd which helped relieve all of my symptoms for almost 2 years, this is the hardest reoccurrence to deal with.  I'm not sure if it's because I still look like myself, just a few pounds heavier, or that I know that there is no easy answer to fix this, or because it's harder for people to understand since I've learned that most people have stopped listening.

I'm not sure to address this at work yet, to warn people, and explain why I might be extra sensitive, or if it would just bring added drama that I don't need.

What would you do?

Comments

  1. I'm so sorry! I'm just being diagnosed after seventeen years of symptoms. I'm Episodic so doctors failed me for half of my life. Will you get a BLA this time?

    ReplyDelete
  2. i have actually already had a BLA, so next step if i do have cortisol production would be an ablation of any rest tissue we find.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ugh... not again. I can imagine the frustration because its such a hard thing to diagnose (even if its again) :(

    For work, if it were me, I'd tell my boss that you're dealing with medical issues (s/he doesn't have to know the details if you aren't close) you can even tell him you're on some new meds that are doing some funky things with your body and hormones right now. While its not entirely the truth, sometimes thats easier to explain than the complications and ins and outs of a pituitary tumor. I'd also alert anyone that you're close with at work. Then if you're having a really hard day they can be prepared and cover for you or help you. I'd tell them on one of your good days that way they won't be completely caught off guard when you have a really bad day. And you can even tell them you don't want EVERYONE else to know.

    Its a lot of work trying to act 'normal' and keep it together when your body is so far from it. You need a few people to lean on when you can't do it on your own.

    I think that was hardest for me when I was so sick. I'm very independent and very quick to pick up the slack when others fall short etc. asking for help and learning to adapt to others doing things for me was a struggle. And also learning that not everyone understands what its like to be SICK. Cancer is about what most people think of when they think of being really really sick.... but in a lot of ways, cushings is worse/harder than cancer.

    Try not to bear the whole weight of the diagnosis and symptoms by yourself. It really helps just to let it out. Give yourself a break when you're having a crying day. You've had the strength to get through this before. You'll do it again. -- Praying for you.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Plastic Surgery

When I was 17, I thought about getting a breast reduction.  I was still pretty thin at this point and it bothered me to by bigger clothes just to fit my bust.  I had a hard time exercising and always had back pain and grooves in my shoulders where my bra straps sat. I had a few consults with different plastic surgeons and ended up scheduling surgery for the week before my high school graduation.  I ended up "chickening out" because I didn't want the surgery to have any impact on my graduation, and I hadn't had any major surgeries before.  I started gaining weight due to Cushing's shortly after, so it worked out for the best in the end.

Now, my breast size has gone way down since I've lost weight, and even though they are still bigger than average, they don't get in my way as much and are more proportional to my body. These days, my plastic surgery dream is to have a tummy tuck.  I have a lot of excess skin on my body, especially on my belly, and in a drea…

Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 9

The only potentially permanent treatment for Cushing's is surgery.  Whether you have a pituitary tumor, adrenal tumor, or ectopic source of ACTH, most often, you will eventually need surgery.

For me, the first step was a pituitary surgery to try to remove the tumor in my pituitary gland. They went through my nose to access the pituitary gland, which means you have no visible scars after.
I was very nervous heading into the surgery, but didn't have much time to dwell on it, as my surgery was scheduled about a week after my IPSS.  I talked to a lot of people before, about their experiences, and heard vastly different stories from each person.
The only thing I remember from before my surgery was being rolled down what looked like a basement hallway (all concrete), while passing maybe 30 operating rooms.  I saw patients in the hallways on stretchers waiting for surgery, I saw into the small windows in the doors to operating rooms, it was a very scary experience.  Obviously, not ev…

The Challenges of Getting a Diagnosis

I have been asked about this so many times, and talk about it a lot, whenever someone asks me about Cushing's.  So many people have the same experience - KNOWING you have Cushing's, and seeing 5, 10, 20, or more doctors over the course of many years before you officially have a diagnosis.  I would say this is one of the most common links I have with other "Cushies".  We all fought for a diagnosis, heard we were just fat and depressed, waited with hope after every test, until a day came when one test came back high, or a brain MRI showed a tumor in the pituitary gland.

I think the reason I haven't written about it is because it's one of the hardest things to sit down and spend time on.  It's painful, and of course, I can't help but wonder what my life might be like today if I was diagnosed sooner.  Would I have needed an adrenalectomy?  Or for that matter, a second pituitary surgery? Would I have as many health issues after Cushing's?  It's ha…