Skip to main content

Struggles

I have this struggle, especially at work, with how much to talk about my health issues.  I feel like I want to yell at a coworker when they complain about stomach aches, or headaches, or other minor aches and pains.  I want to say that it's only a fraction of what I deal with every single day.  I want to say I would gladly trade them for a migraine that lasts only 2 days.  I would love to be tired because of a baby up all night instead of sleeping for 10 hours only to wake unrefreshed.

I always struggle with speaking up for myself, or not caring what people think.  I feel like a horrible person for thinking these things when someone complains about normal things that everyone complains about.  I do care, but it's hard to relate.  I wish I could talk openly about how I actually feel today, when someone asks "How are you?".  I know they are expecting "well" or "okay".  One time I would like to say, I'm struggling to get through the day because I'm frustrated about the current treatment or my muscles feel like they are on fire, or I'm just trying to get through the next 3 hours.

My coworkers are not at all receptive to any "health talk".  I try not to bring it up.  I know it's difficult for anyone to relate to.

More and more, I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to, to just vent and cry to about how awful it is. How I don't know if I can do it for one more week.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Talk About the Sh*t you Don't Want to Talk About

I haven't updated this blog in a very long time.  I actually deleted a ton of posts while I was applying for social security disability. I posted about Cushing's Awareness day earlier this week on facebook, so I guess I'm in a sharing mood.

Anyway, for anyone who even reads this, I was watching a documentary on Netflix about a teenager with anorexia and mental illness who found meaning in her life through yoga. (It's called I Am Maris). It's kind of the reason for this post.

To start - let's go back to June 2018. My grandmother died.  She lived a wonderful long life, but it was especially hard on me.  She was the reason I got out of bed every day, my best friend, and so much more. I actually don't remember how I got through most of the summer.

In the span of two weeks at the end of August, my mom turned 60, we went on a family vacation to the vineyard, my best friend got married, and I wanted to kill myself.  Yeah, you read that right. The day after return…
Post a Comment
Read more

The Challenges of Getting a Diagnosis

I have been asked about this so many times, and talk about it a lot, whenever someone asks me about Cushing's.  So many people have the same experience - KNOWING you have Cushing's, and seeing 5, 10, 20, or more doctors over the course of many years before you officially have a diagnosis.  I would say this is one of the most common links I have with other "Cushies".  We all fought for a diagnosis, heard we were just fat and depressed, waited with hope after every test, until a day came when one test came back high, or a brain MRI showed a tumor in the pituitary gland.

I think the reason I haven't written about it is because it's one of the hardest things to sit down and spend time on.  It's painful, and of course, I can't help but wonder what my life might be like today if I was diagnosed sooner.  Would I have needed an adrenalectomy?  Or for that matter, a second pituitary surgery? Would I have as many health issues after Cushing's?  It's ha…
5 comments
Read more

Cushing's Awareness Challenge - Day 23 - The Diagnosis and Treatment Process of Cushing's Disease

For many people with Cushing's it takes months, years, or even decades before finally getting a diagnosis and help.  For me, it was 5 years from when I thought I had Cushing's until my endocrinologist told me I did indeed, have Cushing's Disease.

Once you read about Cushing's and think it sounds just like you, here's what you will have to do to get rid of the excess ACTH or Cortisol source

1. Find a reputable endocrinologist that other people with Cushing's have had good luck with.  You can find a list on Cushing's Help HERE.  You can also ask someone that has been diagnosed on the Cushing's Help boards or on the Facebook group which doctors they see.

2. Make and appointment, and be patient!  Sometimes the endocrinologist has to do multiple tests over a period of time, and those results can take a while to come back.  Some tests to expect are 24 hr urine free cortisol tests, midnight salivary tests, dexamethasone suppression tests, or random/midnight se…
1 comment
Read more